1-20-97
Suzille’s experience of Window of the World continues:
Many blockages were found indeed, and I didn’t even know I was looking. I went back into the third dimension and forgot about my connection to the higher worlds. I became separate, fearful, and filled with doubt. My ego was engaged when someone liked my writings and called me gifted. At first I was flattered and then I was doubtful.
“How could someone think that I was gifted?” my frightened child responded. “I wonder what he is up to. I am sure that he just wants my money.” And, of course, he did. But does that mean that I am not gifted? And, most important, what does any of this have to do with being gifted? I thought that this was a service. I thought that this was a gift that I could hear inner messages and share them with others. I thought that I was learning to give and receive, but could I receive that complement without doubting its validity and doubting its source?
The small child very much wanted the brightly wrapped present. But somehow she felt she didn't deserve it. Each time it was given to her she retreated in shyness and lowered her eyes. How could that lovely prize be hers? How could she accept it?
"Just take it," came a kindly voice. "There are others who know more than you. Even though you cannot see all that has brought this to you, know that it is yours".
She didn't understand, but trusted the kindly voice. She timidly reached for her prize. But as she touched it, it disappeared.
"Where has it gone?"
"Why, it is yours now," said the voice. "It is no longer something that you must reach for but something which you must own"
Can I own my Higher Self while I walk about my everyday world?
With that question, I leave the computer on and take that question into the shower. I find that I often have realizations while in the shower with the warm water caressing me. It did not fail. I realized that in the last couple of days I have had to make major decisions regarding money, desire and ego vs. Soul. Also, I had to have both the plumber and an electrician to my house. It seems that the hot and cold water are confused in my shower—nowhere else—just MY shower. Also some electrical outlets are reversed in polarity.
I don’t want to be one of those people who see a higher meaning in every event, but I do like to follow the symbology of my house and my car. It feels to me that issues with my car are about my ego and issues about my house are about my Soul. By the way, my car just died too. I have gone from joy to disillusionment more times than I can count since I have written the last entry. I now look at the date of that entry, a visit to group consciousness, was one month and one day ago. Since that time was Christmas, New Years and my fiftieth birthday.
Dear group mind of Arcturus,
Please enfold me now as I remember to surrender to my fullest Self. Please assist me in releasing all thoughts of limitation, fears and doubts of self. Assist me in viewing my total Self.
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata is on the CD player. In perfect time to the music, I again see myself as one of the Golden Lights following and leading within a continuous of stream of Light. We appear to be deliberately moving in a certain direction. Yes, it into a higher dimension because as I look far ahead of our position I see the “first” light disappearing into a Vortex. I have recently been instructed in my heart to edit my first entries into this journal and now I understand why. I am about to enter the Vortex again.
The Vortex is infinite, holds no time or space and is an indication of change—NO the term is—transmutation. Change may be for the better or for the worse whereas transmutation is an evolutionary progression. Transmutation is beyond the judgment of good or bad. It merely is. I remember when I first saw the Vortex, almost two and on half years ago. And now the Vortex has returned, or has it ever left? “I am ready for more change,” I say as I gather my courage. Gradually, bit by bit, these changes are manifest in my third dimensional world and very, very slowly I am remembering to remember my SELF within it. However, I still forget more than I remember. When I forget, my ego steps in or is it the other way around? Does my ego step in and I forget?
Dearest ego, I see you now as the portion of myself that is grounded on the third dimension. I see also that each of the golden lights is also grounded upon the third dimension of Earth. We, the grounded lights, form a huge circle of golden lights, which encircle the planet. Eventually, we will all enter the Vortex into the higher dimensions. I see us now as a long snake that is coiled around the planet with a vibrational transmutation moving through each vertebra and implanting it into the body of Lady Gaia. As we slowly uncoil we increase the vibratory spin of the planet. There is no competition or jealous among us. We do not consider “getting ahead” or “doing better than” because we are all One. Any progress by any of us is instantly shared by the entire entity.
The head of the snake becomes the tail of the snake as soon as it enters the Vortex, as polarities in the fourth dimension are reversed, just as the swirl of the bathtub water are reversed in the two hemispheres of the planet. As the Vortex enters the fifth dimension, the polarities are balanced and neutralized. Upon entry into the sixth dimension, the concept of polarity is completely erased. We are like a huge flower that is gradually coming into full bloom. Our pollen is the group energy that is released from the one flower to become the beginnings of new flowers.
Suddenly, we stop. All is completely, but in the same moment the progression of Golden Lights continues. I am now detached from the dot that I had once been, detached from the swirling snake and detached from the visions that were so vivid before. I feel myself floating away from everything that I once was. I am now in the blackest void that I can imagine. However, I am not afraid. In fact, I do not have any emotions or thoughts. My fingers are documenting my experience while as they keep me grounded in the third dimension.
I now understand that I am not the leave my physical consciousness, but, instead, to expand my conscious memory and perceptions far beyond my human limitations. As each of us does this, it becomes easier for more and more of us to do so, as well. I feel that I can no longer write, and must end this message…
This message is important as is shows how we can go from the depths of despair into the heights of illumination by simply changing our consciousness. Now, in 2011, that constant shifting into higher states of consciousness in order to perceive the higher frequencies of reality is even truer. Our greatest challenge at this time of Planetary Ascension is to keep our consciousness high enough to perceive the higher dimensional realities that are ALWAYS there, just beyond our limited, third dimensional perceptions.